The Boy With What?
by Acacia Fynn Mellark
Summary: Katniss is off leading the rebellion. WHat happened to Peeta that whole time? Mockingjay in Peeta's POV! :D enjoy!
1. Cease Fire

**Um so, hi…So I'm getting to the point. I am a horrible person. I haven't updated in FOREVER D: FORGIVE ME! I just have been focusing on my SYOT (.net/s/7784378/1/The_20th_Hunger_Games_Shattered) and Mockingjay is HARD TO WRITE! Please realize that! I am having to go off and write Peeta in away that I haven't really seen or read of. Its really hard! So I'm just telling you I am not able to write these really quick anymore. Sorry ****L But yes I hope you enjoy!**

**PS-IF ANYONE GOES OFF SAYING PORTIA IS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU! Ok not really but I know she dies. It never really specifies WHEN though so I will kill her in my own accord. Thank you! So yes read on! Hope you like it!**

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><p>I stare wide eyed at the screen. I see people running, people screaming, and people dying. I see the blonde heads of merchants sprinting, pushing their families behind them so they can live. The people from the Seam helping each other into the meadow. The meadow. A hovercraft is waiting there. People are hurrying inside it, tears streaming down all of their faces. I wish I was with them. Portia buries her face into my chest, as she has for the last 3 hours we've been watching. I haven't stopped crying since it started.<p>

We have been here for a week. The Capitol. I am soon to be used as a weapon against the rebels. I have learned that there have been uprisings going through the Districts. During the Games, people knew about it. Finnick, Beetee, Wiress, Cecilia, Haymitch, and Portia knew. Cinna knew. He can't tell anyone what he knows though.

According to Portia, the day we went back into the Games and she had those blips of static coming of her watch, Cinna was being beaten for his Mockingjay dress. They beat him, in front of Katniss, and then killed him.

"We don't know who has made it out, but we do know where they're all going," A large Peacekeeper informs us, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Where?" I ask, frightened for my family.

"If they made it to the hovercraft, they will be lifted to District 13. That's where Katniss, Finnick, and Beetee have been lifted to as well. It's were the Rebels have gone," He says with a gruff growl.

"District 13? I thought that was destroyed?" Portia sniffles.

"So did we," He mumbles. "But now were going into another war, all because of Katniss," I don't know If I was supposed to hear the last part, but I instantly get annoyed.

"She probably doesn't even know what's going on. If her cousin and Haymitch tell her something's right, she'll do it," I growl.

"Sure boy, whatever. Come on you 2, you need to get ready for that interview," He yanks at my arm, and Portia. We're shoved into a sterile white room, where my prep team waits.

"Peeta! We've missed you!" They smile brightly at me. They don't know anything or if they do, they don't understand. They instantly start working on me, trimming my hair, covering the remaining bruises from the Games, and rubbing my face with the harsh chemicals. They don't do much, but when they leave I'm drained. Maybe because it's the first time it's been only me, and I know Katniss isn't with her prep team either. I don't even know if her prep team is alive.

"All righty then, Peeta, we're done," Tentic grins at me. Kem and Gem bounce out with smiles, and Tentic lets out a strange giggling sound. Portia smiles at me a little, her makeup running. I wipe a tear from the corner of her eye and she shakes her head. Portia goes to get my suit and comes back with a simple black pant, black shoes, white button up shirt, and a yellow tie. I change quickly, and I feel the small padding on the chest of the shirt and along the arms. Portia stands on her toes to tie the tie, and then helps me slip on the black jacket.

I stand in front of the mirror and see I look fine. I don't look overly thin; you can't see the small, light bruises that were on my face, or the scar that was on my hand from the deep cut the knife left on me. Portia sees me staring coldly at myself and takes my face in her hands.

"Can I see a smile?" She asks, lightly touching the corner of my lips. I smile at her touch and she then lets a small smile rise to her lips. A sharp, loud bang hits the door and I jump. The Peacekeeper from before pulls Portia out, leaving me alone in the dark room.

The door opens and I gasp at who comes in. Snow stands there, no guard, no protection I can see. He smiles at me, and it makes me sick that I'm alone in the same room as him.

"I'm not going to sugar coat this Mellark, and I'm guessing you already know this. I hate you. I hate Katniss. I hated District 12 too, and see what I did to it? I made it disappear. I can do that to anything I hate. Do you see where I'm going with this?" Yes I do. He's trying to get me to turn against Katniss. I don't say anything though, so after a moment he continues. "I'm guessing that you would rather not die, so I have a proposition for you," He gives me a big red smile. "If you do exactly as I say, I won't kill you. I won't torture the other victors when we get them. You'll be safe. We're going to say you won the Games, Peeta. You're the most believable of the 3 that remain in our facility. It's simple. All you have to do is call for a cease fire."

"What? Are you kidding? No one will go for a cease fire, not even if I say it. People are fed up Snow, and they aren't going to give up that easily. Especially with all those Victors supporting the cause," I spit out in disbelief.

"Do you believe in it Peeta? Do you believe in the death that is going on, because of their choices?" He questions me.

"No I don't. I also don't believe in the Hunger Games. And guess what? Those still happen every year. I can't control them. You do," I snap.

"Yes Peeta, I know. But if you don't, we'll have to destroy all of the rebels," He taunts a horrible glint flashing in his snake like eyes.

I understand now. All the rebels. Even the ones that didn't know they were _part_ of the rebels until a week ago. The ones that I care for, the ones I love to hate. The ones I just _love_. He'll kill Katniss without a second thought. He'd be happy; the star-crossed lovers' most lethal player would be dead. And I wouldn't be able to help her.

"Cease fire?" I ask.

"That's it. Now come, don't want to miss your interview," And he opens the door for me to be lead out. A large man, not dressed in a Peacekeeper's uniform but still holding weapons, leads me down the hall, pressing call button on the elevator. When we step in, he presses the button to go down to the 1st floor. I follow after the large guy, I think I hear someone call him Brute which sends a wave of regrets through me, but he pushes me through an open door and I instantly become somber.

It's Caesar Flickerman's interview stage. He sees me and smiles sadly at me. There's something different about him, but I can't tell. He lightly lays his hand on my back, leading me over to the chair. There is no audience. I remember a few days back when they did the replay of the Games. I didn't even watch the screen, and couldn't hear anything over the roar of the crowd. They all were screams of hatred and vengeance. I don't think they ever aired it.

I fall into the chair and Caesar sits across from me. I hear them counting down, and the loud shout of 'Action!' and the silence all around us.

"So…Peeta…Welcome back," Caesar says finally. I give the smallest of smiles.

"I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me, Caesar."

"I confess, I did," He shakes his head a little. "The night before the Quarter Quell…well, who ever thought we'd see you again?"

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure," I frown.

"I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was," He says leaning towards me. "To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive," Another sad shake of the head.

"That was it. Clear and simple." I trace the pattern on the chair, remember how it's the same as the love seat me and Katniss shared, almost a year ago. I wonder where she is, if she remembers that day too. Or if she's already with Gale, smiling and totally fine. "But other people had plans as well," I try not to growl the last bit. I crease forms between my brow as I wonder about her.

"Why don't you tell us about the last night in the arena? Help us sort a few things out," Caesar suggests. It's a strange request, but I nod and start slowly.

"That last night…to tell you about that last night…well, first of all, you have to imagine how I felt in the arena," Caesars eyes widen for a fraction of a second, then go back to normal. No one has ever told what it was like in the arena. Victors, even the ones from the Career Districts, never tell about the time in the arena. "It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, jungle…green and alive and ticking. That giant clock ticking away your life. Every hour promising some new horror. You have to imagine that in the past _two days, _sixteen people have died-some of them _protecting_ you. At the rate things are going, the last eight will be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it won't be you," I can feel the sweat form over my brow, as a remember the horrible place. "Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All the people and things you loved or cared for almost cease to exist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered. As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only get one wish. And it's very costly," I keep my voice steady, making sure to paint the perfect picture.

"It costs your life," Caesar murmurs.

"Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?" I shake my head a little. "It costs everything you are," I mumble.

"Everything you are," Caesar repeats, almost silently. I nod my head, and I can hear people holding their breath around me, not wanting to miss one breath.

"So you hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss. But even without knowing about the rebels, it didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated. I found myself regretting I hadn't run off with her earlier in the day as she had suggested. But there was no getting out of it at that point," I have to stop, my throat choking out the words.

"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake," Caesar guesses.

"Too busy playing allies with the others. I should have never let them separate us!" I burst, unable to stop myself. "That's when I lost her," I drop my head into my hands, holding in the tears.

"When you stayed at the lightning tree, and she and Johanna Mason took the coil of wire down to the water," Caesar clarifies. I wish he didn't bring it up.

"I didn't want too!" I yell angrily. "But I couldn't argue with Beetee without indicating we were about to break the alliance," My voice growing fainter. "When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus Kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena…" I'm not blaming Katniss. "Blew out."

"Katniss blew it out, Peeta, you've seen the footage."

"She didn't know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee's plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire," I just about snarl.

"All right. It just looks suspicious. As if she was part of the rebels' plan all along," Caesar barely finishes before I'm on my feet. I lean over Caesar, my face in front of his, hands placed on the arm of the chair, no way of letting him leave.

"Really? It was part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For the electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing?" I start yelling in his face. "She didn't know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!"

"Okay, Peeta, I believe you," Caesar says, his eyes wide with fear. His hand rests on my chest to push me away, and I comply mumbling an 'okay,' barely loud enough to be audible. I fall back into my chair, running my hand through my hair. I feel ashamed for my outburst and I don't know what to do.

"What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?" Caesar says after a moment.

"I don't know what Haymitch knew," I say coldly.

"Could he have been part of the conspiracy?" Caesar prods.

"He never mentioned it," I try to calm myself.

"What does your heart tell you?" He needs to shut up soon, or my fist will be telling him something. But his question makes me think. What _is _my heart telling me?

"That I shouldn't have trusted him," I growl truthfully. "That's all."

Caesar rest a hand on my shoulder, telling me we could stop this dreaded interview. I let my eyes flash up to the large Peacekeeper that led me here, and he shakes his head. I still haven't called for that cease-fire either so I have no choice.

"Was there more to discuss?" I mock harshly.

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset…" I can almost hear Snow hissing in my ear, one last chance to back out. But I won't. I put on a crude smile

"Oh, I'm not too upset to answer _that," _Deep breath, make sure they understand. "I want everyone watching-whether you're on the Capitol or the rebel side-to stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our condition more tenuous. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that-what? Some _decent _species will inherit the smoking remains of the earth?"

"I don't really…I'm not sure I'm following…" Caesar says. Must I say those exact words?

"We can't fight one another, Caesar," I sigh, explaining once more. "There won't be enough of us left to keep going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons-and I mean _very soon_-it's all over, anyway."

"So…your calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar confirms.

"Yes," Snow glares at me, I can almost hear him hissing in my ear to say it. "I'm…calling for a cease-fire," And he has officially won. He made me say what I never wished to say. "Now why don't we ask the guard to take me back to my quarters so I can build _another _hundred card houses?" Caesar signs us off, and once the cameras are off, Brute walks over, grabs my collar and tugs me out.

Once away from everyone, I get a sharp zap of electricity into my back. I collapse right then. Snow sees me and smiles.

"You did well."

"Why was I zapped?" I growl.

"Because we can," He chuckles, and the sound is horrible. "Remember that Peeta, we can hurt you. And it can be entirely for fun."

And with that, he presses the stick to the back of my neck, shocking me once again. Completely and utterly for _fun_.


	2. Nothing to Know

***Please, review telling me songs you think fit mockingjay! Mainly how Peeta would feel being hijacked or being away from Katniss! Don't Ask you will learn soon enough! Thanks!***

**Helllooo! Yes so this is up! I am happy about that, cause I didn't want to seem like I'll holding them hostage. Its just I'm working on like 2 stories and sometimes I like 'PEETAAA!' and others I'm like 'ZANNEEEE!' (Character in SYOT who I am in love with even though only my Beta knows who he is) **

**But yes, we have Jo in this chapter! And no less, a learning experience with her! My explanation of what happened to her! (if you want my WHOLE version of what happened, ask and I might make it into a story.) **

**And I am, er, warning (?) you now, Peeta will be in…uh, not sure how to word this. Almost a 'romance' with Johanna and Annie. I mean really! He gets messed up and he stops loving Kat, but he's locked up with 2 women? Katniss even says he flirts with Annie, so I'm just bringing it up now. Nothing sexual, it just could be counted as a romance to some people soooo…yeah. LATER though, not now. Now he's just being Peeta and comforting her **

**Oh and I have 2 small stories I'm starting. One is Finnick and Annie Related. The other is sorta an AU of Peeta. There both just one shots soooo, those won't take much time :) **

**The Link to the Peeta one .net/s/7895371/1/Safe_and_Sound**

**I'll add the one to Finnick and Annie in the next chapter **

"Peeta, for the last time, _stop lying!"_ A large doctor yells in my face. I lean away from him, his hot breath brushing against my face.

"And for the last time, I have no idea what you're talking about," I counter him, yelling at him as well. He falls back into his chair and I cross my arms.

Now, I was a good liar. But I really had no idea about anything they were questioning me. _How did District Thirteen survive like this? Why are they helping? What is the plan? __**Where's Katniss?**_

I didn't have an answer for any of these questions. And I wished I did. I wanted to know where Katniss was. If she was safe. If Gale was keeping her safe. Was Gale with her? Most likely.

"Ok he won't stop, send her in," The guy says into a box. He stands knocks on the door, and walks from the concrete room. I sit in silence hearing the small tick of a clock. Wiress voice rings in my ears.

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

"Oh Wiress, I'm so sorry," I mumble. A woman walks in, her muted pink hair pulled from her face. I glance up and think of Effie for a moment. Shaking my head I put that thought out.

"So what are you going to do? Tell me I'm lying and then scream?" I ask her.

"Oh no Peeta, I won't be doing that. I'm sorry what you've been through," Wow that was a first. They were sorry for me.

"Eh, its fine," I mumble a little. "But I still don't get what you want," I say.

"It's ok, Peeta, you don't have to hide anything with me. You see," She leans in and whispers as quiet as a breath into my ear. "I don't like the Capitol. I don't like their power. They should all fall, but I'm forced here. If you tell them what they want to hear, you'll be ok, got it," She pulls back and smiles.

"Liar! And even _if_ you weren't, I still don't know what's going on!" I yell at her. "I know there is something with a new rebellion and District 13 is alive, but that's it! Right there, all of my understanding! _So stop trying to get me to say more," _I snarl in her face. I wouldn't at like this normally, but right now I was tired and sore and just irritated with everyone. She shrunk away from me and then, _**ZAP!**_ I tense to the high pulse of electricity. It burns and once it stops I slump against the table.

It wasn't the first time it's happened today. It's happened about 6 times already but that was harsher. I rest my head on my arm and just lay there.

"I think it's time for a break," The woman mumbles. She leaves and I don't move. It hurts the most in my shoulders, where they have put the small metal contraption that is set to shock me.

The door opens and I look up. Food is set on the table in front of me. It's a fruit with clean white flesh and brown skin, which is broken into pieces. A bottle filled with an opaque, yellowish orange liquid in it. I move to eat the fruit; the hard and slightly bitter thing is filled with juices. It has an odd taste that I find pleasant, but it's hard almost frozen and hurts my jaw.

I smell the liquid and it gives a slightly similar smell to the fruit. Tropical, almost thick smelling, like I know it will coat my mouth entirely. I look at the label and see it's filled with vitamins. Great they want to keep me healthy in this hell hole. I drink it though, and as I guessed, covers my mouth and the taste sticks there. I push the food away. Someone comes in to take it. I rest my head back on the table. No one enters.

"What letting me cool off or something? Look I'm sorry," I say, though the lie is plain in my voice. Still no one enters. I rest my head back on the table; eyes closed and try to relax. It's hard, but I manage to fall asleep. Or maybe I pass out.

_I woke and saw I was back in Victors Village. It was all a horrible nightmare, I realize with a smile. I move from the bed and run down the steps, looking for Katniss. She wasn't in the kitchen or living room. I rush out the door into Haymitch's house, but he's gone too. As I run, it all seems normal. People walk through town with smile and laughter. I see Prim and one of the other Hawthorne's, Rory I think his name is. They stare at the cakes in the Bakery window and when they see me wave. I wave back, but I'm still looking for Katniss so I run to Gale's house._

_He was on the porch with Madge smiling for once. They see me and Gale give me a small nod while Madge gets up and hugs me. _

_A loud shriek is what makes me turn around. I see its Prim, Rory pulling her hand to make her run. And once there a few yards away, a bomb hits right where they were standing. Hits the Bakery's front display window. Everyone is in a full blown panic and I see my family is running to see what happened. _

_We all run to the meadow, away from the bombs that were falling. I look for Prim throw the crowd. She had twisted her ankle as she was running and Rory and the other Hawthorne, Vick I think pull her up. But right as they do, a bomb falls next to them, blowing them all into pieces._

I wake up with a sharp cry of pain. I jerk up, tears in my eyes. Still no one was in the small concrete room with me. I laid my head back on my arm, my arm pressed over my eyes, absorbing the tears that fell.

I had been alone for a week. The first human contact was with a burly man that never spoke and frightened me. The next a woman who only asked questions and was short with her temper. More came in; I had been here for hours. It was making me spread thin.

It was the first food I had, had as well. They thought starving me, putting me in solitary confinement, and letting me hear others screams were what would brake me.

"Please, I just want to sleep. I'm answering as best I can, I really am. Please stop pressuring me to lie for you," I call forward. No reply. "I'll do whatever you want," I call thinking it will interest them. And as I guessed, Snow walks right in.

"Good to see you wish to cooperate. I don't think I ever got to tell you about this, but you aren't alone," A deadly smirk rises to his puffy lips.

"Not alone?" I hadn't seen Portia in a while, was she even still alive? I almost hoped they killed her.

"We saved Johanna Mason and Enobaria Lockwood as well at the end of the Games. Choose one that you wish to have contact with," It wasn't really a choice. Both want me dead, or Katniss dead. I think back, and see how large Enobaria was. She could kill me in a moment.

"Johanna," I say. He nods, expecting my choice. And he then leaves me again. I sigh and more tears fall into my arm. He does reappear soon after though. And with his is a familiar figure. I bolt up and rap my arms around Johanna Mason who hugs me back without a second thought.

"Johanna! You're safe," I whisper in her ear.

"As safe as I can be," She whispers back. I shush her gently, not wanting the President to hear her. I pull back, but keep an arm protectively on her back.

"You and Johanna will be in shared ce-uh, rooms," I horrible grin forms on his face. Maybe picking Johanna was a bad idea.

"Are we free to leave?" Johanna asks. He nods and to guards come up to us, yanking me away from her. I feel tiny pulses of electricity as I walk, and I wonder if there doing it or if it's beginning to malfunction. I remembered when they put it on; I saw it looked old and rusted. They throw us into a room, and as I just lay there, waiting for the pulses to stop. Johanna said nothing, not even when I went to sit against the wall with her.

"Did you know?" I ask in a breath. It's almost silent, but I see Johanna look at the ceiling, then to the floor, and then back to the opposing wall. I guessed she was nodding, and I stayed silent.

"DO you think there safe? Where ever they are?" Johanna must know where, but she needs to seem like she knows nothing.

"I think they went to 13, start a new rebellion. I hope there ok, I mean, all of them. Not just Katniss, though I hope she's ok more than the others. Finnick, Beetee, anyone else they got," I smirk a little thinking of it.

"They have Haymitch too, I heard them saying that. And Katniss's prep team. They got some weird ones," She tells me. I nod.

"I wonder what they'll do to us here. Not like we know anything," These rooms are bugged I can feel it, but still mock them openly about it. She glances up at me and then smiles. I yawn and she leans against me.

"Night Jo," I say as I rest my head against the wall. She murmurs something, but then I hear her quiet snoring.

I can say I pretended it was Katniss leaning on my shoulder, but that would be a lie. I was thinking of how lost Johanna seemed to be. She was huddled next to me, and I wonder what they did to her. I then don't want to know. She was curled inwardly, trying to hide herself. Her cheeks were pale, her hair greasy, and she smelled horrid.

I leaned my head to the wall, closed my eyes, and hoped I would actually sleep.

The nightmares weren't what woke me. Chasing Katniss through the first arena did not wake me with a bolt of fear. Johanna's screaming did though. She was curled around her stomach even tighter, tears streaming down her face.

"Jo, jo, its ok," I whisper near her.

"Mom!" She bolted upright. She looked around and the normal frown became present on her face.

"You ok?" I asked her.

"Uh, yeah, fine," She leaned on my arm again. I sit there, unable to sleep again. She doesn't either.

"Jo," I ask slowly. "What happened to your family?"

"Capitol killed them," She whispered. "Mom and Dad died when I was 6, lumber accident. That really was an accident. My 10 year old sister took care of me, and we never went to a community home. Then when she was 18, she was reaped. Killed on the 3rd day, at 8:26, due to strange mutts that ran her into an abyss filled with sharp rocks on the wall. 4 years I lived alone. Then I was reaped. You know the rest," She murmured.

"I'm sorry," I told her.

"Don't be. I have no one that can be hurt from my stupidity," She informs me. I have to agree, because it's true. "What was your life like, besides being in love with Katniss?"

"Normal, really," I say. I want to end it at that, but Johanna looks at me expectantly. I didn't want to remember home. "I was a merchant, so I lived in the better part of 12. The part they show everyone in Victory tour. Raised with my 2 brothers, Mom, and Dad. Mom was harsh. She hit me. But I got used to it. When I was 10 I got to start working in the bakery. Mostly just mixing batter, but soon I was frosting and baking everything. I think I baked for you when you came to 12. And Annie, I remember a lot of girls kept coming in and buying _tons_ of heart cookies and sugared breads to give to Finnick," I smirk. Johanna smiles a little too. "Annie came into the bakery while there, looking for Finnick during it. She talked to me for a minute, and I gave her fresh sour apple tart. She probably doesn't even remember, and Finnick never said anything, so I doubt he knows."

"Annie is sweet. I felt bad for her, because before her Games, Finn would be running from District to District, to and from the Capitol. But every time he came to Seven or I saw in mentoring, he would never shut up about her. He never spoke badly of her, and was very good, never pressing her. And after the Games, he was a wreck. In the Victory tour, he would keep her talking, never moving from her side, even though she was totally fine," I saw a real smile flash.

"I wonder where she is," I mutter.

"I don't," Jo whispers. I instantly regret our talk of Annie, she is now in danger. I let out a sigh and close my eyes so I can try to sleep.

I am again not woken by my dream, but of a sharp _**ZAP!**_ That pulses over me. I yelp and see Johanna had moved to the other side of the room. I collapsed completely when the shocking stopped. They walked in. Peacekeepers. They said something that frightened me, and I couldn't help but shutter.

"Conversion starts today."


	3. Nightmares

**I am horrible. I haven't updated in forever. But guys, please be aware, these are hard to write. I'm not good with writing torture scenes, which haven't come up yet, but its hard killing my favorite characters (or torturing them) I try to make these good, and it's a little hard, but I hope you enjoy.**

**Please remember to review, and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon! Thanks guys, it means a lot!**

Conversion. What would that mean? He came over and yanked me off the floor, hurting my arm. I heard Johanna call out a goodbye but before I could reply the heavy metal door clanked shut. I was shoved harshly as we walked, my hand held tightly behind my back. They shove me into a room, and after a moment, Portia is shoved in.

"Portia!" I cry as I hug her. She hugs me back and starts sobbing. I hush her, and she looks up at me with sad eyes. She shakes her head, but then sits me down and gets to work.

I was still too thin, being I hadn't eaten much in the last week. She trimmed my hair a little and put make up on my face to hide the shadows. She put drops in my eyes to make them look healthier. When I removed my shirt she almost cried seeing they back. It was red, some parts a little purple from where the nerves had died. The small thing that sent the sharp pulses to my back had cauterized it. She called an attendant to get a doctor to look at it, but none came.

She dressed me, being overly careful of my back even though I couldn't really feel it. The shirt was dark along with everything else. Black pants, shoes, and jacket with a dark crimson shirt. I looked at Portia and saw she was dressed overly well too. A dress that had a color resembling blood and thick black makeup around her eyes. Her hair was dyed black, streaks of red in it as well. Her black glasses were tinted a little more.

"Portia what's going on today?" I ask but she shakes her head. I don't push it. The door is thrown open and 3 large Peacekeepers come in, one taking Portia and the other two grabbing me. We were forced into an elevator, which was cramped with two people in it. My shoulders hit against things and it pinched the shocker sent small zaps through me. I can tell the Guards are unaffected by the sharp pains, and I guess they purposely didn't give me rubber shoes.

We are shoved from the room carefully, and into a large circle of people. Someone pushes an ear piece into my ear, and I try to not growl at the small clicking sound that goes off every couple seconds. They cheer and cry out when they see me. I put my arm lightly over Portia's shoulders as I fake a smile and wave to everyone. They cheer a little louder as they see me reacting to them.

We're lead over to seats, and I notice that tons of guards and Peacekeepers are on the stage. Along with Snow.

"Welcome everyone! I'm glad you could all attend," Do I imagine his eyes piercing into mine as he says that? Maybe. "As many of you know, there has been rebellion forming around us. It's horrible when our District's don't see all we do for them," Snow shakes his head sadly. "But now!" His voice booms around us making me wince. "It has spread to out lovely Capitol! To the place of beauty and safety!" What is he going on about…? "We have come here to _punish _the Rebels that lie in this once pure city! Bring them out!" Snow's voice cracked. I glanced up to see that would be brought out and I froze.

Tentic, Gem, and Kem all stood bound and hurt.

"NO!" I shouted, standing from my spot. Portia pulled me harshly back into my seat, but I still stared wide eyed.

Tentic was brought up first, forced to his knees. His eyes found mine instantly, and I tried to show how sorry I was. And I saw him give me a small smile.

_**Bang!**_

He falls limp to the ground. I can't help the tears fall down my face. In my ear, a blip of static. Words burst in and I fight the urge to rip the damn thing out.

"It was Katniss that did this," I want to yell again, but I know it would be no use, so I sit and morn to myself. Portia cries into my shoulder lightly, but it's quiet. Kem and Gem are both forced down at once, Tentic's body between them. Gem gives me a sad glance, a small, 'don't feel bad,' raised in her eyes.

_**Bang!**_

Kem let a scream rise in her throat, tearing through my heart. Her eyes met mine and I saw pure hatred rest there. I was the cause of this. I was the reason her sister, and soon her as well, were dead.

My fault.

_**Bang! **_

She fell too. The last thing in her eyes was hatred towards me. I couldn't stop the tears falling down my cheeks as Portia cried into my shoulder. The Capitol clapped.

Those monsters _clapped _for their death. I couldn't believe it. Snow nodded his head at someone, who I don't know. But he points to Portia.

No.

She stands, removing her black jacket and glasses, handing them to me. Her eyes tell me so many things, things she can't say, and things she wants to say.

_I'm sorry. Be safe. Live life. Survive. Escape. Find help. Remember me. I love you. Take care. I'll miss you. Don't cry. My children, they are safe. Find her._

_Bang._

The shot. She falls. I hadn't seen her move, locked in her all telling gaze. But now she was gone. The sobs wrack at me, but I keep them in. I have my hand clenching her jacket and glasses.

I will keep them, I decide with a small nod. For her. She won't be forgotten, not by me. People cheer, cry out with joy.

The Capitol has rid itself of rebels. They are safe. They have it all perfectly fine.

But little did they know, the biggest threat still stood. On that stage. With more control than anyone else.

~*`*'*~

The cell was clean when I reentered it. No one was in it. The chip was still in my ear, and they cuff my hands above my head, forcing me to the ground so I couldn't stand up. I struggled for a little but, it was an odd and uncomfortable, the cuffs digging harshly into my wrists.

Johanna wasn't here. I looked around the room, but there was no sign of her. The grey room had light spilling in from the windows high over my head, but bars covered them. The door they closed had bars too, but it was too far away to bring any light to my side of the cell.

I fidgeted for a while, trying to get comfortable, but I realized that would be like trying to escape. I sighed, my head pounding. Portia's jacket was in my lap, along with her glasses.

It was the only thing I had left from my old life. The jacket she used to always wear, which now I think was Cinna's being it was too big for her, and the glasses that I never saw her without.

I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep and soon it takes me.

_Tentic, Gem, and Kem stood over me, rubbing my face with horrible chemicals. I could hear the snipping of scissors as they cut my hair. They aimless chatter went around me, and I was able to smile at their words. _

_I start chattering with them, about the stupidest things. Music chip malfunctions. Fresh sea food. New medicines. _

"_Portia!" I hear them all chime. I sit up glancing over. Her face breaks into a smile so bright I feel my heart falter. She's ok, she's happy. _

"_Peeta, how are you?" She asks. I get up and hug her, rapping her in my arms. She giggles as I spin her around. I laugh too, happy to have her smile again. _

_I place my hands on her shoulders, pushing her back so I can look at her. Her hair is platinum blonde, her natural color I believe. Her skin was pale, but freckles covered her cheeks and nose. Her eyes were a bright green behind her black glasses. She was happy. _

_I turned to face my team and notice something is wrong. There smiles still rest on their features, but its changed. Its gruesome. _

_They have a dark fog surrounding them. It covers there brightness that I had seen only moments before. Their eyes were pale white, glossed over._

_Dead. _

_Lost._

_Gone._

_I push Portia behind me, and I see a tall form coming from behind them. It's a familiar person, there brown hair a little too long and their clothes to tattered. His face is bleak but when he extends his hand, Portia bursts past me, into his arms. _

_When she turns, I see she looks the same as the others. _

"_No," I stumble back. I try to go as fast as I can to get away from them. But I can't take my eyes off of them. They enthrall me, and lock me with their horrible predatory gaze._

_I hear a click. It's a strange sound; I don't know where it came from. Behind me. I glance back, just as an arrow pierces Tentic's temple. He falls. _

_Jem goes down next, the arrow in her chest. Kem with the arrow in her throat. I stare with fear as the arrow enters Portia's chest. Then Cinna's._

"_No!" I screamed. I turned to see the assassin. I heard words being whispered in my ears as I looked her over._

"_Her fault. She killed them. Her fault. She will kill you too," Over and over. The words tore at me. The face was familiar in to many ways. How it smiled. How it cried. Shock. Fear. Anger. _

_I had seen every emotion on that face. And now it was pure death. Her eyes locked with mine, the bow raised, and the arrow whorled from the string, pinpointed at my heart._

"PEETA!" The voice pulled me from my trance. I looked up my head dizzy my heart pounding. Johanna was leaning over me, eyes wide with fear. Her hair was short, almost a guy's cut, and she seemed to have some sorta of insanity as she collapsed over me.

"Jo, it's ok," I croak out.

"No! Peeta! You weren't moving! I thought you were dead!" She cried.

"Jo, I wouldn't die," I tell her.

"You can't control if you live or die. They do!" She sobs.

"I won't let them kill me," I inform her with a strong voice.

"Ok," She whispers, curling up next to me. I move my arms a little but there still locked above my head. Portia's stuff still rests in my lap. The chip was still in my ear.

"Jo?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She sits up.

"Pull that thing out of my ear will you?" I ask. She sits up and sees what I mean. Lightly she tugs it out. "Thanks."

"No problem," She smiles a little. Laying back down, she closes her eyes and goes stiff. I lean back, not able to fall back asleep. I look around the room, for something anything.

I pull memories forward, trying to escape every piece of darkness in the cell.

Katniss singing. Katniss smiling. Laughing. Crying. Hugging me. How she felt those, now, short nights.

I must sit and think like this for hours. The door opens. I glance up and gasp. Jo sits up next to me. She gives a sad look and I can't help but mouth 'I'm Sorry.' As she's shoved in. She just stands there, then runs over, collapsing next to us. Johanna comes over, holding her head on her lap, stroking her long brown hair.

"Shh, shh, It's ok Annie, it's ok,"


	4. Updates

**Hi everyone! Sorry to get your hopes up on another chapter, but sadly not the case**. **Here is the updates.****  
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**_20th Hunger Games-_OK so this should be up soon. I have work all week and only have weekends off, and my Beta hasn't been able to get a hold of me and he's on vacation with an...*ahem* interesting friend. I swear it will be up as soon as possible, but i'm working till the 26th of July, after that my production rate will be back up, i promise.**

**_The Boy With The What?-_ OK so this one is a little more complex. I lost the chapter i had written cause my computer crashed. I am now really sad so this next chapter MIGHT suck a little cause I had a wicked long chapter written and I _really _dont want to rewrite it all. Again, once I'm off work, I will have chapters up much faster, i promise :D**

_**Side****_ note_-**_**I have a few original stories, does anyone want to read them? If so review or PM me :)****  
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